THE BEST THREE EASTER CANDIES EVER: A RUNDOWN

Yep, it is time once again! Easter is here and that means if halloween hadn't done the trick and plunged you into a diabetic coma, easter is here to make sure you get all the type II diabetes you can stand. Here are my personal favorite sugary treats - those that make every Easter something to look forward to:



Candy #1....PEEPS!!!!!


I don't know what kind of kung-fu grip these sugary little fowl have on me, but whatever it is, it always makes me look forward to Easter. And for some reason, I prefer the purple ones.

I LOVE YOU PURPLE PEEPS!

The purple ones are just a little bit cooler than their other-colored brethren:


Candy #2: CADBURY CARAMEL CREME EGGS!

Now I won't stick my nose up in the air at all the other creme eggs...I'll happily devour any I can get a hold of, no matter what flavor. But the caramel...oh you saucy sexy thing...you are my favorite of all.


SEXY.

Candy #3: Lindt Gold Easter Bunnies!

I pity anyone who has never had the joy of eating a Lindt bunny. Make no comparison to these babies with their slightly retarded inbred cousin "choclate bunnies" that usually crowd American grocery store shelves this time of year - these are good...REAL GOOD! They come in dark, milk, and white chocolate versions and they are heaven wrapped in gold foil with a cute bell necklace attached.


The Lindt Family of Bunnies. These are what you want to eat.


Ghetto ass bunnies. These are what you want to cap in their tastless grainy asses.


Anyhow....Happy Easter! Love, Adolf Bunny, Heroin Jesus and of course... the bitter old bitch.