1. Take a big steaming crap on it
2. Beat it with a stick repeatedly
3. Kick it a few times
4. Bathe it in tears of despair
...know what you get?
A Christmas Story 2.
No, I'm not joking. Steel yourselves, kiddos...this monstrosity is coming to a theater near you:
STOP RAPING MY CHILDHOOD, HOLLYWOOD!
....thus sayeth the Bitter Old Bitch.