Another Journey to the Museum of Taxidermy - TOUR #2 - The FASHION Edition!!

Greetings, whippersnappers. Seeing as the first tour to the Museum of Taxidermy was such a success, many have been asking me to load the bus and return for another field trip. So on the bus we go, this time to the jewelry and wearable exhibit of the museum!

Now if you haven't heard, the bird is the word.....for necklaces that is! If you want to be in fashion this fall, you can express your fashonista expertise with any of these gems:


So trendy!

The best part of all, if you can easily recycle your pets! Why bury Polly when you can wear-y Polly?


Pretty bird.


Cockatiel with bling appeal!

Not your style? Well take a look at this lovely wishbone necklace on your right...


...though I'm guessing the squirrel didn't get his wish. :/

Over here on the left you can see the hottest trend in headwear accessories, taking the catwalks in New York by storm this season is our trendy line of dead rat headbands:


Next time someone says your hair looks like a rat's nest, you can beam with pride as you'll know you're in style! :D

Let's not leave the boys out though, continuing with the "infested theme" we have this lovely pigeon wing headband:


If you've been looking for a way to accessorize that "I wanna look like a cracked-out version of Hermes" ensemble, lucky you; fashion has finally come up with the answer.

But we can't let only our fully-grown fowl have all the fun? Over here if you take a peek, you'll find....


...a dead baby bird brooch.

Moving along, let's see what we have down the hallway, shall we?

Oh wonderful - the new line of shoes have arrived!

First we have dead mole slippers...perfect for those cozy nights.



For the more business casual look, we have these lovely deer-and-revolver pumps:


...perfect for "hoofin'" it to work.

And for a classic dinner date, we have the latest from Milan!:


Hedgehog-a-riffic.

And if any of these shoes look too classy, fret not oh workers-of-the-pole! We have just the shoe for you:


Well Prince, I guess when doves cry...this is what it looks like.

HEY, ANYONE IN THE MARKET FOR A HAIR COMB?!?!??


The look on his face says it all.

If you look closely this way, you'll see a lovely mouse bangle:



And for the gentlemen...don't allow those black-tie events keep you from putting your best fashion foot forward! Spice up that dull tuxedo with this....


Nothing says "Boy am I glad you invited him to the wedding, dear!" like a dead rat bow tie.

Speaking of our whiskered friends, this coin purse will definitely get the subway attendant's attention next time you look for exact change:


ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEED TO NOT HAVE RABIES. WE SWEAR.

And who says taxidermy is just for outerwear? Some of the biggest fashion leaps are being made in the lingerie department this year:


Personally, I'm holding out for the new owl line...that way I can show off my hooters.

And last but definitely not least, children - fashion has finally answered the age old question "What do you do if you just can't let go of a beloved childhood pet?" What if your kitty finally went off to claw that scratching post in the sky? How do you cope with the grief, and still keep the memory of Fluffy close to you?

The answer?


...



Fanny packs are back, bitches!!! ;P


Hope you enjoyed the field trip. Gift shop is next to the bathrooms by the exit. See you at the bus....




.....thus sayeth the Bitter Old Bitch.

JOURNEY INTO THE MUSEUM OF TAXIDERMY - TOUR #1!!!!!

And now, part one in an upcoming series, the Bitter Old Bitch presents.......

The Museum of Taxidermy!!!!





Welcome to the gallery, children. I am the Bitter Old Bitch and I will be your guide for today's tour. Today we'll be taking a look at some of the best (and worst) displays of taxidermy art. But I see you are all very anxious to get inside...so follow me and let's begin the tour...remember, please try and refrain from handling the art, and no photography please, postcards are available at the Gift Shop. Today we will be looking at:


Fishin' Squirrel


Flying drinking monkey


Hedgehog business card holder


Mouse in a trap...oh the fun one can have with one of these at the office! Unlike the real deal, this stuffed version can be used again and again and never decays!


Boxing Prairie Dogs

Rodeo Toads

Computer Mouse


Piggy pull-toy

Cowboy squirrel


Basketball wildcat...which if you all will kindly take a look to your left, you will see his nemesis....

...Football badger



Here we have a lovely set of smoking room squirrels...and over here...


...we have a dead kitten tea party
Adorable, isn't it?
Now, looking to your right......


...we have a soldier squirrel...ready for battle! More than likely he is here to defend the contents of....


Decanter Squirrel.

Because nothing says "class" like pouring your friends a glass of fine wine from Rocky's decapitated corpse!

Here we have a lovely set of marriage mice. But today is no single wedding, kids! We're upping the ante and making it a double!....


....with a dead kitten wedding.

Now I know what you are thinking. "Gee, B.O.B. - these are a lot of squirrels and mice and small animals, isn't there anything bigger? Where are the large animals?"

Well kids, the larger the animals get, the more it costs to stuff them. That's why you see so many small animals in the gallery. But those of you that enjoy large animals, have no worry....there are a great amount of specialists out there who can still provide you a large animal at a discounted price. Just ask this horse lover over here....


You'd be amazed the deals you can get! She has her favorite horse forever...and at the bargain price of 80% off the full retail price!





Now, for the last part of your first tour...let's wander off into the gallery of fashion...shall we? Follow me...

Here we have a set of lovely mouse brooches and just down the hall we have another mouse accessory...

An albino mouse pendant. Trés Chic!

And now on to our last exhibit for today....



...an authentic Louis Vuitton handbag for your dog. Er, I mean...of your dog.

I'll let you ponder upon that one for a while.

See you for the next tour.....we'll be open for more taxidermy fun real soon!

....thus sayeth the Bitter Old Bitch.