And now, part one in an upcoming series, the Bitter Old Bitch presents.......
The Museum of Taxidermy!!!!
Welcome to the gallery, children. I am the Bitter Old Bitch and I will be your guide for today's tour. Today we'll be taking a look at some of the best (and worst) displays of taxidermy art. But I see you are all very anxious to get inside...so follow me and let's begin the tour...remember, please try and refrain from handling the art, and no photography please, postcards are available at the Gift Shop. Today we will be looking at:
Fishin' Squirrel
Flying drinking monkey
Hedgehog business card holder
Mouse in a trap...oh the fun one can have with one of these at the office! Unlike the real deal, this stuffed version can be used again and again and never decays!
Boxing Prairie Dogs
Rodeo Toads
Computer Mouse
Piggy pull-toy
Cowboy squirrel
Basketball wildcat...which if you all will kindly take a look to your left, you will see his nemesis....
...Football badger
Here we have a lovely set of smoking room squirrels...and over here...
...we have a dead kitten tea party
Adorable, isn't it?
Now, looking to your right......
...we have a soldier squirrel...ready for battle! More than likely he is here to defend the contents of....
Decanter Squirrel.
Because nothing says "class" like pouring your friends a glass of fine wine from Rocky's decapitated corpse!
Here we have a lovely set of marriage mice. But today is no single wedding, kids! We're upping the ante and making it a double!....
....with a dead kitten wedding.
Now I know what you are thinking. "Gee, B.O.B. - these are a lot of squirrels and mice and small animals, isn't there anything bigger? Where are the large animals?"
Well kids, the larger the animals get, the more it costs to stuff them. That's why you see so many small animals in the gallery. But those of you that enjoy large animals, have no worry....there are a great amount of specialists out there who can still provide you a large animal at a discounted price. Just ask this horse lover over here....
You'd be amazed the deals you can get! She has her favorite horse forever...and at the bargain price of 80% off the full retail price!
Now, for the last part of your first tour...let's wander off into the gallery of fashion...shall we? Follow me...
Here we have a set of lovely mouse brooches and just down the hall we have another mouse accessory...
An albino mouse pendant. Trés Chic!
And now on to our last exhibit for today....
...an authentic Louis Vuitton handbag for your dog. Er, I mean...of your dog.
I'll let you ponder upon that one for a while.
See you for the next tour.....we'll be open for more taxidermy fun real soon!
....thus sayeth the Bitter Old Bitch.
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11 comments:
I am just in love with the museum! I think I will have to take another tour soon with my darling kitties Burt Reynolds and Pootie Tang. I am pretty sure they will love the kitty wedding exhibit! What a wonderful way to celebrate a cat's life! Who needs pesky kitty funerals and internment when you can stuff your beloved and have them posed however you wish! (Although I think when my dear boys pass away I will have them stuffed wearing tuxedos and down on one knee proposing marriage to moi!)How romantic!
Ack! That's horrifying and bizarre and grotesque and ghoulish and just so many kinds of wrong!
But it makes a great blog post!
I'm fascinated by this. Curioser and curioser ...
Is the mouse head pendant for sale? If so, I just got my Christmas shopping done. And before June. It's a new record.
tour #1? so we can look forward to more tours? sweet!
Is that Louis Vutton dog an actual purse?
If so, I want one. And a suitcase made from a Labrador Retriever!
Louis Vouitton dog bag?? Ack!
what i find most disturbing about this isn't the stuffed, dead animals but the fact it's a museum of taxidermy and CHEESE. what the eff?
Holy Wow....
oh my dear god
This is disgusting in my opinion. Why do this kind of art with actual dead animals? I would be a kind of conservative respect to this issue.
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