Have you ever wondered why today's generation seems so hopeless? Somehow it seems that those of us born in the eighties, seventies, and prior are just a bit...well...smarter than those kids today, doesn't it?
Well, it's true. Know why?
BECAUSE WE HAD TOYS THAT COULD KILL US.
Yes, nothing says "motivational learning experience" more than pain will. Back in the day our toys taught us valuable lessons, and those that were too lazy or dumb to adapt, well...Darwinism took it's toll on our generation didn't it? Those of us that survived the "thinning of the herd" know darn well that paperclips don't go in electric sockets, and that no matter how much Jimmy Anderson dares you, it isn't worth trying to successfully catch a lawn dart in your mouth. Nope. We took our licks, but we ended up wiser, more well-rounded individuals. Can't say the same for the overprotected kids of today.
So here, without further ado - is a roundup of wild toys from the past that even though they could maim and kill, we still played with and loved every damn minute of it:
(examples: Ice Bird, Tonka Trucks, Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine)
Ice Bird
(examples: Willy Water Bug, Fun Fountain, Water Wiggle, clackers, Bing Bang Boing!)
Water Wiggle
Willy The Water Bug
Johnny Reb Cannon
Bing Bang Boing!
(examples: Creepy Crawlers, Mattel Vac-U-Form, Easy Bake Oven, Soldering Kits, Wood Burning Kits)
Vac-U-Form Machine by Mattel:
The virtual trifecta of danger.
1. Hot Plate? Check.
2. Melted Hot Plastic? Check.
3. Sharp knife to trim your molds? Check and check!
Creepy Crawlers
I know, let's bake creatures out of toxic goo using a burning hot plate! YESSSS!
Easy Bake Oven
Good ol' Easy Bake. Thanks to you I learned that handling a hot cake pan without an oven mitt is never a great idea. Thanks for teaching me, I'd be fingerless today without you!
(examples: Lawn Darts, Fireworks, Dad's Table Saw)
Lawn Darts a.k.a. "Jarts"
Death in a box. 'Nuff said.
(examples: Big Wheels, roller skates, The Outrider, Green Machine, skateboards)
The Outrider
The Outrider. Knees and knuckles, prepare to be skinned!
Big Wheel
Big Wheel. Now check out this awesome commercials. How many helmets and knee pads do you see? Now...count the awesome spin-outs. Is it little wonder we loved these things until we wore a flat hole in the front tire?
Green Machine
Green Machine, for when you outgrew your Big Wheel, but you weren't about to relinquish your title of "neighborhood knievel".
(examples: Not shockingly, this is the only one that I know of.)
Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab
....thus sayeth the Bitter Old Bitch.
Posts
13 comments:
Great post!! I'm amazed that the generations of my children and me survived into adulthood in such numbers without legal action to dictate what we played with.
hahah THIS WAS SOME post. How the hell do you come up with ideas like this to research. Your comments are hilarious. I think I lived in a cave or something, I do not remember the ice duck and a few others. Enjoyable!
Ice Duck! I wanted one soooooo bad, but was never allowed to get one. :( Willy Waterbug was awesome-but whipped the heck out of your legs. Torture for sure.
Thanks for the awesome post!
Yes, in that times playing was a surviving task. In current times, kids just play with videogames or with computers that there are not so risky and funny by the way he he he. Buy Viagra Viagra
Geez I remember a lot of these! Would have loved the Atomic Energy Lab, but that was a little before my time. I think I had a water wiggle, but everything else - only in my dreams. Mom figured most of this was too dangerous. Riding down a narrow street on a steep hill on a skateboard wasn't though - go figure! Great blog!
This post is extremely good. All these toys teaching us some common sense meanwhile we played with them. Nice post.
Slip 'N Slide was a good one. Sprawled out across the dead rock hard dirt lawn, complete with protruding broken sprinkler heads to catch your hair as you slid by, and over the concrete sidewalk until you dog-piled your friends at the end of the slide for any kid's lack of patience to wait his turn. Yep, you and all your best buddies slipped and slid to the non-stopable end right to the edge of the yard which coincidentally was the curb of the gutter.
To cool off after all that running and sliding onto the burning rubber (Dad didn't want to waste too much water, now did he?), you'd be off to the backyard to enjoy your Snowman Ice Making Machine. Styled after a butchers meat grinder, just one tiny slip and your right arm is now your forty right arms.....but mmmmmmm, what great snow cones they made with that chemical juice of colours not found in nature poured on top.
It's dangerous for your kids to play with toys which are meant for older children. This is especially true where infants and toddlers are concerned.
Thank You a ton for writing such a wonderful piece of information. Keep sharing such ideas in the future as well. This was actually what I was looking for, and I am glad to came here! Thanks for sharing the such information with us.
Hello I enjoyed yoiur article. I think you have some good ideas and everytime i learn something new i dont think it will ever stop always new info , Thanks for all of your hard work!.
hey buddy,this is one of the best posts that I�ve ever seen; you may include some more ideas in the same theme. I�m still waiting for some interesting thoughts from your side in your next post.
I'm also visiting this site regularly, this web site is really nice and the users are genuinely sharing good thoughts.kidsridewild.com
Electric Scooter with Seat is the choice of the new generation as it gives huge comfort while traveling on it together with a great look and style
Post a Comment