Thursday, April 30, 2009

Spiders Eating Crazy Shit - FTW!


Watch your backs guys, Charlotte may seem friendly, but she can tear your shit right up.


It comes as no surprise why so many people are afraid of spiders. Think about it, they're freaky, hairy, and they kill for a living. Add in the fact they have over 400 MILLION YEARS OF EVOLUTION under their belt so they've been perfecting their bad-assery for quite some time. Plus they are opportunists. Sure, most people think about spiders and imagine them nibbling on cutesy little insects in their widdle webs. But hell no - these bastards will not pass up a good meal if they can get it. Here's a few spiders that laugh at those "insect eating dweebs" and prefer a little more meat on their plates:

SNAKES


Believe it or not, some spiders really give snakes a run for their money. But a snake, cool as it may be; lacks ninja skillz. Spiders have that in spades.


"But that's a HUGE spider and a small snake, that's no big accomplishment."



"Oh."


LIZARDS


Lizards. These little bastards have often found spiders are a tasty meal and are more than happy to grab themselves an eight-legged snack when given the chance.


OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!


But Mother Nature has a pretty sick sense of humor. And sometimes just for shits and giggles she thinks it is fun to bend the rules of the food chain. ('Cuz she's a bitch like that.)


Revenge. A dish best served cold, or on the side of a barn.



OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!


RODENTS


Though many rodents chow down on spiders, some spiders have a long history of making Mickey their bitch.


Pictured: Spider version of "Oz".


Here's a video of a spider eating a mouse. Not for the weak-of-heart. Watch the full version if you enjoy suspense. Those with attention deficit disorders can feel free to jump to 41 seconds in to watch the action.



BIRDS


A well known enemy of spiders, birds can also be sucked into mother nature's "food chain" prank. While many arachnids scatter when they see a bird approaching, others close in for the kill faster than Tony Montana closing in on a cookie jar full of cocaine.


"Say hello to my little friend!"



Chicken. Nummy.



Seriously, it's only a matter of time until they evolve enough to...well, you know...





...and when that day comes, and you feel the venom taking effect, as you're gasping for your last breath your last thoughts will be:

"Damn. That Bitter Old Bitch was right!"




Pleasant dreams, kiddos...

....thus sayeth the Bitter Old Bitch.

3 comments:

YesBiscuit! said...

We have lizards, spiders, birds and snakes around the yard but I've never seen any epic battles like these! Must keep eyes open for Spider vs. Snake Cage Match.

Shelley said...

I want to throw up now. Why did I read that?

bunyip.stew said...

Ahhh, the mouse video reminds me of a fine spring day a few years back. Some friends and I spent the afternoon tossing baby frogs into funnel webs and watching the resulting carnage. Now that's some serious buggy froggy fun!